Going Home

I’m here.

I’m just here.

I haven’t been looking –

Was I supposed to?

I’m sorry if

You’ve been waiting.

I’m sorry if

You’ve been looking and

Couldn’t find me.

I’m not hiding – I’m just here.

I’m just here.

I’m not waiting, but maybe I have been,

As much as I’m able to

While getting on with my life

As I’ve been all this time

One step at a time,

One breath – one gasp – at a time

Fighting for each breath

Holding on and getting on with this life

Maybe I’ve been waiting

Are you really there?

Are you really there?

I’ve been so tired lately

So weary that there were times I thought

Maybe I wanted to stop.

Maybe I wanted to stop and fall on my knees,

Forget how to breathe,

And just be taken

Far away by the wind, or by the sea

Moving with the waves that I’m not fighting

Not fighting anymore.

I really thought

It was time to stop.

I made it to a pitstop.

It’s not the threshold of home

Of our home

But you’re there, aren’t you?

Somewhere.

I hear you. You’re there.

And you don’t see me yet,

And you might not hear me yet –

For my presence is but a spark,

And my voice, on mute

Compared to your bonfire,

Compared to your song.

I hear you

And I’m sorry.

I want to come home.

I’m not crying, not anymore.

I’m coming home.