Cutting Cords

I have been tied to some resentment for years, some older than others, but all equally binding and limiting.

I have read, and not just once, that forgiveness is not about the other person, but more about yourself (or some variations of that concept).

There had been some individuals who caused lasting harm not just to me but to my family. The first time I heard about not forgiving is also harming oneself, I thought of these people, and I immediately thought that no, these people don’t deserve forgiveness. I’d rather set aside part of myself holding resentment for these people than let them go and live their lives without the burden of someone hating their guts.

I was very angry and with good reason.

Over the years, such people accumulated in my life. Not too many, but enough to feel the burden after a while.

I also have had to cut off a few of my family who are very toxic to interact with, and one of them is a narcissist. It reached a point where my time and my efforts were not respected at all, and I just became a resource that was not human. So there was a falling out a couple of years ago, and while I was firm in my decision to not take that toxicity back into my life again, I also got angry whenever I would hear from other family members that lies were being told about me.

I am just so done now.

I am done with keeping the resentment going for those who hurt my family. I will not let them into my life, and while it’s a small world, I thank the Universe for keeping us away from each other. I am not forgiving them for their own benefit – I relinquish the space in my heart where I have kept the resentment for them and open it for something good, something better.

I release myself from the pain, the sorrow, the hatred that I felt because of those people who hurt my mother and our family for their greed.

I release myself from the sorrow, disappointment, and pain that my father caused.

I release myself from the disappointment and loneliness I felt when I was left alone to care for my mother.

I release myself from the damaged self-worth and loathing from numerous sexual harassment and abuse.

I release myself from feelings of betrayal and hurt from family who continuously disrespected me and looked down on me for years, all the while using me and getting whatever they could from me through manipulation.

I release myself from feelings of guilt and resentment I feel at work. I’ve been hanging by the thread of burnout if not already burned out. My efforts are appreciated and I am deemed important. We may all be replaceable, and there will come a time when I choose to move on, but until then I am still appreciated and still important.

I forgive all these instances and I forgive myself for feeling all these feelings and holding on to them for years.

I am released. I am free.

My heart feels lighter. My heart has more space for love, for gratitude, for all good things.

Thank you.