What Kind of Love – Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don’t own Fushigi Yuugi.

What Kind of Love

Chapter One

When I was eight years old, I was told that I would marry Saihitei.

He was 10 at that time. He wasn’t hyper or rowdy like other boys his age, but he was kind and fun, if a bit mischievous. We got along very well.

Sai and Yui. That’s how the elders talked about us.

For children our age, it meant nothing. Adult talk did not concern us. He was happy to run around the garden, and I was happy to be pulled along, his hand holding mine.

I didn’t know what it meant when I was told that I would marry Saihitei someday, but somehow I knew that I was meant to be by his side. That was fine by me. He never bullied me, and he was always nice.

He was also very pretty – prettier than me, in fact – but he was never haughty about it. He was never boastful. Instead when we grew up he always joked that I was only with him because I was damn beautiful, and that he had very high standards.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, Yui-chan? Care to share?”

I looked up and found that Sai had already arrived and taken a seat beside me. I made a face. “You’re late.”

“It’s just because I found this cake shop and I thought you’d really like their blueberry and lemon bars so I got you some,” he explained, and then presented a wrapped box with a flourish. “You can express your appreciation to me later, love.”

I eyed the box with caution. “Blueberry and lemon bars? Sounds a bit…strange.”

Sai grinned at me and said, “That’s why I thought you’d really like them.”

Despite myself, I laughed. “Jerkface.”

Sai just rolled his eyes at me. “Tell me something you really mean.”

I wanted to tell him a number of things, all of them heartfelt, but all I said was, “Thank you.”

I felt my cheeks warm up and I chided myself in my head. Sai always noticed whenever I blushed.

“Why don’t we share a few slices before Ryuuen gets here?” Sai suggested after a while. I was sure he saw me blush but chose not to comment, much to my relief. “I’m sure he’ll hog all the pastries and just leave you crumbs when he’s through.”

“Maybe he won’t like the combination so much?” I offered. Fat chance.

Sai just threw me a look as if to say, “You know better than that.”

Just then the waiter stopped by and asked if we were ready to order.

“We’re still waiting for our friend,” Sai answered. “But can you please get us your lunch menu and wine list? Thanks.”

After the waiter brought us the menu and wine list, I asked Sai, “I haven’t seen Ryuuen in months. Have you been in touch with him lately?”

“We see each other here and there,” he answered, while busying himself with the wine list.

That was vague. “I see.”

He continued browsing the wine list while I observed him, my blueberry and lemon squares forgotten. Sai, in all the years that I’ve known him, was always open – too open, most of the time. I never had to prompt him for more information; he always provided more than enough, sometimes too much. He never hid anything from me.

Maybe I’m just being unreasonable? Maybe I’m just imagining things…maybe he’s just…really distracted with that wine list?

Even as I second-guessed myself I chided myself for thinking pathetic excuses.

Even if it never happened in the past, it doesn’t mean that it will never happen in the future – in this case, at present.

Maybe there was finally something that got Sai tongue-tied.

He wasn’t pretending to pore over the wine list anymore, but he was frowning, and his lips were pursed slightly. He was staring at something over my shoulder.

“So,” I began, my eyes still pinned on his features. “I wonder if Ryuuen will give us his wedding invitations at last. Houki seemed very happy, last I heard from her.”

 “There won’t be a wedding,” he suddenly blurted out, still staring far away.

I gasped. That was big news. Ryuuen and Houki had been engaged for five years. “Are you sure?”

Before Sai could get a word out in reply, Ryuuen arrived in his usual flair, like a bubbly whirlwind with big smiles for the whole room.

“Sai! Baby!” he greeted cheerfully, then promptly planted a kiss on Sai’s lips. “Did you miss me?”

Baby?

Sai turned red, but didn’t refuse the kiss. He looked at me.

I used to always know what his looks meant, but this time I was knocked out of our wavelength.

Ryuuen chattered on, oblivious to the passing looks between Sai and me. “Yui-chan! You look gorgeous, as usual. I really appreciate it that you’re celebrating our first month with us. You’re a real cool woman. The best gal pal, really.”

I dragged my gaze away from Sai and looked at Ryuuen. “Glad to be here,” I replied, doing my best to smile. After all, it wasn’t the first time that I spent time with one of Sai’s current boyfriends. “I just wish I brought you guys a gift or something.”

Or something. Sai could have warned me beforehand. We could have talked about our own engagement while he was at it.

We had never been involved romantically by our own decision, but we loved each other enough not to actively oppose our engagement. We also loved each other enough to support each other when we found love outside our friendship.

Ryuuen described it perfectly – best gal pal. I’m content with that. Really.

It’s just… Eighteen years was quite a long engagement.

I didn’t know what to think anymore.

The waiter came back. “Are you ready to order?”

I stood up suddenly, without deciding or thinking about it. Sai and Ryuuen both looked at me. The waiter quickly excused himself.

My mouth opened then closed a couple of times. “I’m supposed to meet my friend after this actually but…well, Sai was late, and then…well…I’m sorry I can’t stay longer,” I finished lamely.

“Oh.” Ryuuen pouted.

Sai looked away.

“Well, I guess it can’t be helped,” Ryuuen murmured, smiling apologetically at me. “We’ll do lunch some other time, then. We’ve known each other for a while, Yui, but I want to get to know you better. You are, after all, one of the most important people in my boyfriend’s life.”

I left. I probably said something that I couldn’t remember anymore, or maybe I just turned my back and ran away.

I just didn’t want to think anymore.

Sai never let on that he was in a new relationship.

I had always been happy for him whenever he was with someone. Normally, I would have just taken everything in stride.

Normally, Sai would tell me whenever he had a new special someone. This time, it felt different.

I wasn’t simply miffed that he didn’t tell me sooner, and no matter how much I liked Ryuuen, I couldn’t feel happy about them.

I felt like crying. Strange, but I’ve never cried about Sai even once. Not like this.

No. Never like this.

“Ryuuen described it perfectly – best gal pal. I’m content with that. Really.”